A young Yoruba man walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Lagos on a vacation, for two weeks, and needed to borrow $5,000. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Yoruba man handed over the keys to a new brand BMW 6 series. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Yoruba man produced the title and everything checked out.

The loan officer agreed to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the yoruba man, for using an $80,000 BMW as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the BMW into the bank’s underground garage and parked it there.

Two weeks later, the yoruba man returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest, which came to $15.41. The loan officer said, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a successful business man. What puzzles us is,why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

The Yoruba man replied: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks, and pay only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?” The bank employees watched as he pulled out of the garage, windows down and sunroof open. Juju music blasting from his car, as he pulled away .

a

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

”House” for instance, is feminine: ”la casa.”

”Pencil”, however, is masculine: “el lapiz.”

A student asked, ”What gender is ‘computer’?”

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ”computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that ”computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (”la computadora”), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible
later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

Before you accept their reasons, read what the female group has to say. This is, indeed, becoming more interesting

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (”el computador”), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

So, which group do you think is correct with its analysis? As for me, I agree with the two groups oh :-d

a

1. The Lord na my shephard, I dey kampe.

AMEN.

a

Man: “What was that for?”

Wife: “Why do you have a piece of paper in your pocket with “Daisy” written on it?”

Man: “Oh honey, don’t you remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Daisy was the name of the horse I bet on.”

The wife was satisfied, and apologized for bonking him. Three days later he is again sitting reading the paper when once again he is bonked on the head.

Man: “What’s that for this time?”

Wife: “Your horse called.”

a

After becoming a lingusitic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working from the most recent “Easy Reading” to the original script.

All of a sudden, there is a scream in the library. The Angels come running in only to find the Pope huddles in his chair, crying to himself and muttering, “An ‘R’! The scribes left out the ‘R’.” A particular concerned Angel takes him aside, offering comfort, asks him what the problem is and what does he mean. After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, “It’s the letter ‘R’. They left out the ‘R’. The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!“

a

Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e. 1/3 (one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3×366 – 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK ! I do give you 2 weeks leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on Worker’s day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday)?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming?
Man:- I understood Sir ! thank you Sir for all the money you have been giving me, I am sorry for trying to steal from the Company !!!!!!

a